Friday, April 24, 2015

Bridal Archetypes

By Style Network's Celebrity Wedding Planner, Donnie Brown


Brides come with many different personalities, backgrounds, and levels of taste. There truly are significant bridal personality types. Do you fit in one or more of these categories?


THE SUPER-ORGANIZED BRIDE
In your hand you always carry your wedding planner book completely intact and perfectly organized. It is filled with all the information you have collected over the years to make your wedding the perfect event. You have control of every detail, and when you meet with the right vendors, you book their services because they fit within your well-structured wedding ensemble perfectly. Your big day will go perfectly and will be a detail-driven and exciting event for all to see firsthand. For example, what would happen if an invited guest arrives with a date who was not RSVP‟d in advance? Well, the retentive goddess in you will meet them at the door and scold them like no other. That is, if you have finished directing the photographer through the post-ceremony photo shoot with a loud snap of your finger. Your reception would be nothing less than a seated dinner with lots of people, multiple courses including soups, salads, various entrée options, perfectly selected desserts and wedding cakes, and plenty to drink.



THE INCESSANT DREAMER
You have spent the past twenty-plus years cutting pictures from magazines and creating your dream wedding book. You finally wrangled yourself a groom and now you spend lots of time looking at many pictures in Martha Stewart‟s wedding publications. You love all of Martha‟s ideas, even those which are just not realistic. The tulip boutonniere is your favorite. Who cares if it falls apart before the men walk down the aisle? Martha said that it would be okay, so it will! I‟ll bet you even have a cake topper that you have been saving since you were six years old! It does not matter how tacky it is, just use it! It cost $1.99 in 1980, but now it is priceless! Your reception will consist of a buffet with many appetizers and other assorted cocktail treats and with fifty percent guest seating. You are terrified that your wedding attendees will simply sit down and not mingle and mix. After all, it is such fun to sit at an unset table or to stand and hold your glass with one hand and your plate with the other. Several guests will be sniffing their plates, because they will not have any way of actually getting the food into their mouths! However, it will be festive!



THE INDECISIVE SCHIZOPHRENIC
You have absolutely no idea what you want. You see sample after sample of ideas and still cannot make a decision. You leave with ideas and come back to the table needing more because none of the previous ones “spoke” to you. The voices were talking but nothing actually got through. You do not want a cookie- cutter wedding. However, you must see photos of something that you do want, even though you don‟t know what exactly it is that you want. I think that you know what I mean when I say that you do not know what you want, even though I know that you know what I mean, ya know? You will not have food at the reception because you never made a decision to begin with and the caterers finally gave up and took the evening off.



CROUCHING BRIDE, HIDDEN MOTHER DRAGON
You have an idea of what you want, but will never see any of your ideas come to fruition because of your mother dragon that lurks in the shadows demanding that this is her wedding and not yours. Consistently and continually, your mother tells you, “When you have a daughter, and are therefore paying for it, then you can decide.” Until then, you will do what “Mommy Dearest” says. Your mother will make it clear that it will be her sole mission in life to destroy the vendors or planner should they defy her wishes in favor of what it is you prefer. For your reception, you would love a selection of tasty, hot and cold passed hors d„oeuvres and a buffet presentation. However, your dear mother will have something to say about that as well. You will end up having a seated dinner with all of your mother‟s favorite selections, and you must like it...or else!



THE WANT IT BUT CAN’T AFFORD IT BRIDE or THE BEER-POCKET BUDGET BRIDE
You are pleasant and very sweet. However, you might bend the truth when you say that you will be faxing over the contract as soon as you hang up the phone with your wedding planner or vendors. You will not. You have every intention of making your payment installments on time. But, somehow you will not. Alternatively, when you say you will do your required homework and get your planner what they need in order to get their job done...you won‟t. Then, all of a sudden, two weeks before the wedding, you turn about face and scream when nothing is done on your timeline; you fail to realize that you are only behind schedule because of your indecisiveness. You just want to keep up with the other ten brides that you previously stood for as an attendant, even though your limited budget cannot afford the related expenses. Not to worry, you will find the funds somehow. You made money at the blood bank earlier in the day, but if you still fall short, perhaps your wedding planner or professional vendors will take pity on you and help you in some way. Overall, this is not going to be the most stress-free wedding you, your vendors or your guests will ever witness. You want an elegant buffet of carved beef tenderloin and a selection of sushi and shellfish. However, what you will have in the end is an array of beanie weenies and spam meatballs smothered in a lovely “Mad Dog 20-20” reduction.



Now, you may or may not find any of yourself in these above-mentioned categories. Or perhaps, you are there and everyone else sees it. Regardless, it was fun realizing that your own well-hidden neuroses happen to other people too, not just you.



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